Through the rollercoaster of emotion of which I am a victim just as much as you, I try to hold my head above the water but hold my breath anyways. Others blame me for the emotions and I do too, but just like them, I have little I can do.

I want to find a time where I’m safe and sound, where my body feels normal, and where my mind’s no longer panicking. The dazed feeling when I realize a new prospect that’s going to set me off again remains an omen of what’s to come.

Thoughts haunt me, but I know I must think them. Just like you, I’m a victim to my emotion, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything. I focus on recovery, and keep a modicum of hope in my heart. I give in to my impulses, and the fear subsides for a moment, but those impulses result in new risk.

How do I actually resolve the emotions to which I’m victim? I’d love an easy answer, but unfortunately there’s no such thing. What’s the best way to make my head stop spinning at the drop of a pin? How do I open myself up to resolution; is that something I even want – do I even know how to want it?

I trust one day the emotions will stop overwhelming me – these ones at least, I’m sure there’ll be new ones in their place. But once that happens, I’ll still be a victim of my emotions? How convenient for you that you have the choice to stop being a victim of my emotions. I wish I had such luck.